(with apologies to John Godfrey Saxe)
Six men who had great expertise
In the human mind,
Went to see some Multiples,
To see if they could find
What circumstances might have led
To the symptoms of this kind.
The First, a learned specialist
In trauma most abstruse,
Saw clearly that traumatic pasts
Of patients was no ruse.
Cried he, “It’s clear that Multiples
Have always had abuse!”
The Second, an able therapist
Of noted mastery,
Hearing tales of devilish doings,
Said, “It’s no mystery
That Multiples have likely had
A cult-ish history!”
The Third, a scholar of repute,
Said, “Multiples conform
To their treaters expectations
And the cultural norm.
They’re grand hysterics who conceal
Their conflicts ’neath a storm!”
The Fourth, a famed psychiatrist
Who knew biology
Said, “What these Multiples are like
Is mighty clear to me.
I don’t acknowledge that they are
Occurring naturally.”
The Fifth, a teacher of renown,
Was skeptical at best:
“These Multiples are feigning woe
To see if they can wrest
Attention from their therapists;
Impairment is their quest!”
The Sixth, a legal-minded sage
Saw conspiracy
’Tween therapists and Multiples
To form false memory:
“They think that their ‘abuse’ should have
A legal remedy!”
And so these men of mental health
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong.
And each was partly in the right,
And all in part were wrong.
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